in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
