hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
