I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
