3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Say something about gay babies.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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