Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
