They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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