i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
