whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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