I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
