I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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