Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
