D3 body, D1 cock
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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