I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize