Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I know her cup size but not her name....
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