Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
