what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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