we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
