I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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