Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
