Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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