He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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