wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
