The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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