playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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