you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
