Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
