I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
