What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
