is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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