He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
