So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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