Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
