So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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