do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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