Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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