I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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