i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
that's an acceptable place to lick
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
