you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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