I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
