Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
