I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
