It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
