Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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