I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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