My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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