Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize