No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
