Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
