she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
