i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
