it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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