After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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