did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize