do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
