I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
