it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
