brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
