12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
